Lately, I have been rereading the writing of don Miguel Ruiz, and discovered his son’s book The Five Levels of Attachment. This work has really helped me to solidify my understanding of attachments and agreements and I thought to work through my understanding with you here.

You see, I love helping people discover themself, their true self. Part of that discovery can entail healing the physical body – but sometimes this healing can take time. As a ‘healer’ sometimes I notice myself feeling disappointment that someone I’m working with isn’t feeling better, isn’t recognizing themselves the way I see them.

When you begin to look after yourself, you start a journey of loving and accepting who you are right now – all parts of whomever that is. It requires consciously, truthfully looking at who you are right now – and noticing the stories and beliefs around who you should be, what you should look like, who you should be with, what you should be doing, where you are. All of these shoulds cause us so much pain! These are our attachments. We can be so attached to these stories that we are unable to see our own truth. They can sometimes be more real than our own truth. They become like a fog that swirls around us blocking the light that is our true essence.

Getting attached to results – as in my wanting people to feel better – is one of these stories or attachments. When I look at what it means for another to be better, to heal, I am looking only from my own limited perspective. I have no idea what the other is experiencing.

And it goes deeper than that. My needing to see results is caused by my own negative core beliefs, in this case – I am not enough – a very common core belief! When I experience someone ‘not healing’, it reaffirms my own story that I am not good enough at what I do. You can see that this can become a never ending cycle.

So now, look at it. Who is responsible for healing? I am. There is only me at the center of it all. It is my belief that needs to be noticed, to be honoured, to be respected, to be loved. Every part of me requires love and respect to be free.

I hear you belief, I love you, I honour you, I respect you – and I release you

As you slowly, gently, continuously release from these attachments you become clearer. You become the beacon, the bright light of love here on Earth – the light you were born to be. Its not about being more – its about being less. Releasing your beliefs makes you lighter, brighter. You are a clear example of what it truly means to be yourself.

I am reminded of the synchronicities of life that Michael Singer discusses in his books – for shortly after I finished reading The Surrender Experiment, one of my clients shared with me the audiobook Loving What Is by Byron Katie.

Byron Katie’s work is called Inquiry and offers a beautiful, framework for learning from the inner voice. Whenever a thought comes up that triggers an emotional reaction, immediately use the 4 questions to discover what is real, and where the opportunity for growth lies.

The process –

1. Hear the thought, feel the emotional response.
2. Write it down – Byron Katie even has a fabulous worksheet called Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet available here: https://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/worksheets/JudgeYourNeighbor_Worksheet.pdf
3. Ask the questions – Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Who would u be without the thought?
4. Turn the thought around – this is where the opportunity for growth lies. Reread the statement, replacing the name of the person you are judging with your own name, and recognize that you do this very thing to yourself. That this other person is actually acting as a mirror for you to learn and grow. Further, you can turn it around to the other person and recognize that by your judging, you actually do this action to the other person in response to your perception that they are doing it to you – because of your story.

There are many resources on Byron Katie’s site available for free use at www.thework.com. And I strongly recommend purchasing the audiobook Loving What Is available for about $20 on iTunes. My husband, Mark, and I have been listening to it in the car on our weekend drive up to the cottage. It certainly makes for interesting Saturday morning conversations as we release layers of hurt during the night!

So, what does the title Loving What Is refer to?

The learning, the understanding that flows through this work is that there are two worlds – reality and our story. Our business, our journey is clearing the layers of our story so that we can recognise what is reality and stop struggling to change it. It is. Unchangeable. And the struggle against reality destroys us, makes us sad, exhausted, disempowered. Makes us sick.

The opportunity is to unconditionally love reality – whatever shows up, embrace it fully. As Michael Singer says, “life is going to put us through the changes we need to go through. The question is: Are we willing to use this force (reality) for our transformation?”

Loving What Is – a powerful tool to use over the holidays to transform. I intend to share it with my family, so here you go! Enjoy the journey.

Several weeks ago, I sent an email to Bob Proctor asking him to update us on what he is reading at the moment so that I could have some ideas for new books to look at. I was directed to his blog where he has some great ideas: https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/6483/six-books-to-read-this-year, but I had already read most of them.

So then, I asked clients and friends to share what they are reading. This presented many great options, and I’m going to share two of them in this post and the next.

I have a special friend who lives in Atlanta who has been on an incredible journey of self-discovery over the past year and it has been a privilege to watch him! He told me that he had come across Michael A. Singer through Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday’s https://original.livestream.com/supersoulsunday/video?clipId=pla_013d598c-fe7c-4671-8eca-5a37074e5825. Oprah discusses one of his books, The Untethered Soul on the clip – but when I went to Chapters, the book that pulled me was the book that followed called The Surrender Experiment. Here are some of my favourite quotes from this book – the pieces that were “aha’s” for me.

His book is all about his experiment to fully surrender to the universal flow of life – “to always be present in the current moment and do my best to not allow my personal preferences to make decisions for me.” (129) “My formula for success was very simple: Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it was given to you by the universe itself – because it was.” (133) Whenever he experienced any resistance to his experiment, “I simply stopped for a moment, took a breath, and recognized all the negativity as my mind’s initial resistance to change.” (140) Sound familiar? “I had already learned time and again that it didn’t matter if I understood what was happening; it was sufficient to devote myself to the present moment and trust that the flow of life knew what it was doing.” (172)

He realized that “there were two very distinct aspects of what we call mind. There was the logical, thought-driven mind that links together what we already know into complex patterns of thought in order to come up with logical solutions. Then there was the intuitive, inspiration-driven mind that can look at a problem and instantly see a creative solution. As it turned out, the years of spiritual work I had done to quiet that voice in my head had opened the door for almost constant inspiration. It seemed that the quieter the mind, the more the solutions became self-evident.” (150)

On change – “Perhaps change only takes place when there is sufficient reason to overcome the inertia of everyday life. Challenging situations create the force needed to bring about change. The problem is that we generally use all that stirred-up energy intended to bring about change, to resist change. I was learning to sit quietly in the midst of the howling winds and wait to see what constructive action was being asked of me.” (160)

More on the inner voice – “the more I was willing to let go of the inner voice created by my personal likes and dislikes, the more I could see synchronicities in what was unfolding around me. These unexpected concurrences of events were like messages from life gently nudging me in the direction she was going. I listened to the subtle nudges instead of listening to the not-so-subtle mental and emotional reactions caused by my personal preferences. this is how I practiced surrender in everyday life.” (168)

“What I saw was that no matter who we are, life is going to put us through the changes we need to go through. The question is: Are we willing to use this force for our transformation?” (185) He found that “letting go … left me in a state of profound inner peace. I was not in charge, life was in charge, and there was an underlying sense of enthusiasm and excitement about getting to see what would happen next.” (189) In fact, “the constant act of letting go of one’s self-centered thoughts and emotions was all that was needed for profound personal, professional, and spiritual growth. All I did was my very best to serve what was put in front of me and let go of what it stirred up within me. It was not my responsibility to find what was binding me; that was life’s job. My responsibility was to willingly let go of whatever was brought up within me.” (252)

I hope that these insights stir you to delve deeper. I certainly found them powerful winds of change!

After reading Michael’s book, one of my clients brought into my office the audiobook of The Work of Byron Katie. What a perfect transition to a tool that supports letting go of our painful thoughts.

Very simply (and please forgive the simplicity), Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer was a German doctor who, after losing his son in a shooting accident, developed testicular cancer. He recognized that his cancer had occurred as a direct result of the shock of the catastrophic loss of his son. This understanding motivated him to research cancer further and as a result developed the controversial German New Medicine (www.newmedicine.ca).

“Through the millennia, humanity has more or less consciously known that all diseases ultimately have a psychic origin and it became a “scientific” asset firmly anchored in the inheritance of universal knowledge; it is only modern medicine that has turned our animated beings into a bag full of chemical formulas.”

While I find the research and teachings of German New Medicine really important for the understanding of how cancer manifests in the body, I find a different creation of Dr. Hamer even more interesting.

One the most challenging aspects of my work with clients is supporting them in releasing their emotional issues, patterns and even emotional identities (where part of their body has actually taken on the identity of an emotion – it recognises itself as fear or betrayal). Dr. Hamer was aware of this challenge and created a piece of music that actually supports the body in releasing these emotional issues. It is available for free on YouTube and I will include the link.

However, I want to insert a caveat here. Releasing deeply held emotional issues can be painful. Sometimes listening to this music can almost hurt. Be respectful. Listen to your body. If you find that after 10 minutes you feel actually sore in a part of your body, turn off the music and send that part of your body love and acceptance. Listen. Is there something your body is ready to let you know? Is there an old negative belief system that you had totally forgotten about starting to replay in your mind? Hear it – even say the words, “I hear you”. Thank it for reminding you. Remember gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions, next to love. What we are able to love and be grateful for raises us up.

Everything in your body happens for a reason. Your body is pre-programmed to protect your ability to stay alive. Negative patterns and beliefs were at one time created to protect you – whether by your parents, by society or by your body. An example: when your mother hugged you every time you hurt yourself, it could have started a protective pattern in your body that whenever you felt pain you would receive love. Now as a teen or adult you are frequently breaking bones and falling and hurting yourself when you feel the need for love and acceptance.

Growing up means finding love and acceptance within yourself. Easier said than done!

So, back to the music. Listen to it every day if you can – for as long as you are enjoying it. Listen when you are feeling stressed, or worried about an exam, or a presentation at work. It will calm you down. Develop a practice of listening for at least a few minutes every day – you could use it as a starting point for your daily meditation.

Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3DtuKpP8OQ . Enjoy!

Every day I have an “Insight of the Day” delivered to my email by Bob Proctor’s company. I really enjoy them because they always give me a thought for the day, and are often a new way of looking at something.

Last week one of the insights that really spoke to me was:

Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem. Expect abundance on every level.

After receiving this one, I wrote it out and put it up on my wall. It has been the subject of several discussions. The last sentence especially has become almost a mantra for me.

Expect abundance on every level.

What blocks us from receiving abundance on every level? I certainly don’t have all of the answers but what I have learned so far is that there are emotional issues or patterns or identities that we have created that block us from reaching levels of abundance.

I think that when we were young, or experiencing a time of crisis, we created these patterns originally to protect us from something that upset or confused us, to give meaning to a world that frightened us. So far, I know of 13 of these emotions

1. Judgment
2. Fear
3. Hatred
4. Betrayal
5. Guilt
6. Grief
7. Shame
8. Value
9. Anger
10. Pride
11. Worth
12. Apathy
13. Pain

They did a great job of protecting us, but now as adults it becomes difficult to leave these familiar ways of being behind.

Recognize them within you. Which of these is the most familiar to you. Notice them. Notice how they show up in your life. Understand how, when and why they might have been created in you in the first place.

Thank them. They have served you well.

Now, notice how they block you from experiencing abundance in your life. Has fear blocked abundant love? Have issues of worth blocked abundant wealth?

Do you manifest abundant creativity, friends, relationships, spiritual growth, health, work, exercise – how do these issues show up in all of the levels of your life?

By understanding how they were created in the first place, how they were protection – and now a barrier – you can choose to release them, let them go.

Can you feel where they lie in your body, causing unease, aches or pain? Deeply experience and feel them. Know them.

There are several tools to help to release deeply held emotional issues. First it is important to respect them, for they are an integral part of you. Loving your entire self requires understanding, respecting and loving even these dark spots!

To begin releasing, I suggest starting with some deep breaths. Slowly bring your attention from your head down to your heart centre. Let’s try a simple visualization technique (other options you could use might include Ho’Oponopono, EFT tapping, deep breathing and meditation).

From the heart centre, imagine a tiny light in the centre. Focus on it as it grows larger, brighter, warmer.

Allow this light to expand to fill your heart, your chest. Bring it to all of the areas where you feel unease, pain, soreness. Let it warm them, soften them, heal them. Imagine it as love – accepting and loving these parts of self – and experience these areas of your being that were previously yelling for attention, experience them relax, release and calm down.

When you stop expending so much energy hiding from these sore parts of your self, from these emotional issues – they no longer have the power over you that they once did. Visualize the bonds created by this way of being actually fall away. Let go.

Let go of believing that things have to be a certain way. Open to “what if”? To pure potential.

What might abundant happiness feel like? It could be a quiet, gentle KNOWING within yourself that life is good. Imagine it, make it real. Feel it, experience it.

Expect abundance on every level.

What could this mean for you?

Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience. Sonia Choquette

Just the other day, I was speaking with a good friend of mine. We were talking about the weather and I was saying that I just can’t seem to get warm this winter. She told me of an experience she had while waiting for the bus earlier that week.

It was a really cold morning, an icy wind was blowing and she started to mutter – words like “I hate winter”, you know them well! In the moment of hearing her words, she stopped.

She had a realization.

She could either get caught up in the negativity, feel colder and more miserable. Or, instead, she could choose to truly embrace the cold. So, rather than continue to feel miserable, she decided to tap into a more positive self  – and realized that the stinging cold actually made her feel vibrant and alive, in fact clear and refreshed. To remember the wonder of this turning point, she wrote a poem:

Dazzle winter sun

Crisp wind on cheeks glowing pink

Feel your life Divine

With every thought we think, or word we speak, we have a choice. Do we fully embrace life and its wonder, to be completely one with the moment, and celebrate the power of Now? Or do we live in the past or future, replay old stories and half-truths that no longer need to define us, or worry about a future that seems so uncertain and fraught with the fear served daily by the media.

Its our choice.

Listen to the words we speak, the thoughts we think. Clear those that no longer serve – by hearing them, thanking them for the lessons they have taught and letting them go.

Those that empower us, and fill us with joy, laughter, and peace – cherish them, embrace them, share them and then let them go too.

When you feel the power of your words, it becomes easier to make mentally healthy choices.